The Source of Anger

Have you ever wondered why this or that makes you angry?  Or maybe you are good with some people, but with others you don’t know why they rub you the wrong way?  Is it ok for a Christian to get angry? All of these questions are valid questions, but it is more important to understand the source of Anger so that you can address it.

Uncontrolled anger has its own path. If you don’t put your anger in check, the outcome is always the same, destruction.  You can tell the character of a person by what irritates them.  Low character people get upset over little things.  High character people only get upset over big things, for the right reasons.  If something is bothering you, ask yourself a very simple question: Why? Don’t resort to pointing the finger at other people or making excuses for circumstances.  Remember, there are two things that you can’t control: (1) Circumstances and (2) People.   If another person is doing something that is irritating you, ask yourself why is it irritating you?

Several years ago, I attended a Christian seminar and one of the topics discussed covered Anger.  I will not try to take the full credit, but the basic understanding of the source of anger has helped me for the past 40 years.  Anger comes from two sources:

1. Unfulfilled Expectations.
2. Your Rights being violated.

Unfulfilled expectations are basically you are expecting something to happen, something to occur, expecting a person to do something, or expecting a person not to do something.  And those expectations were not satisfied.  When that happens, you get angry.  You ordered something online, paid good money for the product, when the product came, it was not exactly what you ordered, the company got the order wrong, as soon as you used the product, it fell apart and was broken.  You expected a good product.  You expected the right product.  You expected the product to work but it broke the first time you used it.  You didn’t get the warranty on the product and now your good money has gone down the drain.  Yep, you’re mad.

The other source of anger comes from your rights being violated.  Whether this is an actuality or something that you perceive, when you feel that your rights have been violated, anger is triggered and shown.  There are also cases when the violation of rights is not directly towards you but is done towards someone else.  When we see injustice, it can and will trigger an outburst of anger.  A prime example is when you are driving on the freeway in your lane.  Suddenly, a car drives in front of you, cutting you off, then slows you down from your normal speed.  Here is the situation.  You are “rightfully” driving in your lane, minding your own business.  But someone violated your rights for being in your lane and cut you off.  On top of that, they violated your right to travel at the velocity of your choice and forced you to change your velocity without asking you first.   Or how about when you are away from your house at the store, someone breaks into your house and steals some of your property.  Again, they violated your rights by taking something that doesn’t belong to them.

Have you noticed that in both cases involving the source of anger, the out of anger is something that happened to you? As humans, we want satisfaction.

It is not a sin to be angry.  In fact, God allows us to be angry, but there are requirements and rules associated with this anger.

Ephesians 4:26,27 (NIV) “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.”

There are four things that the scripture covers:

1. Be Angry – God’s permission.
2. And do not sin – God’s Rule
3. Do not let the sun go down on your wrath – God’s Time limit he allows on your anger.
4. Nor give place to the devil – God’s responsibility He places on you to not allow the devil to do.

Be Angry. God allows you to be angry, but you are not supposed to walk around looking for things to get mad.  Don’t be the person who always has a chip on their shoulders, getting mad at everything.  If there is a situation that causes you to get angry, it is ok for you to get angry for that moment.

And do not sin. This is the hardest part of being angry because when you are angry, you WANT to sin.  You want to say exactly what is on your mind or take some kind of action!  So how do you be angry and not sin? You give your expectations and your rights over to God.  You say, “Lord, whatever happens, I trust you.  If something bad happens, I know that you allowed it for a reason, and I know that it will build character within me.  Lord what I see is making me angry, but I need your wisdom and your peace to enable me to make the right decisions.  In Jesus Name.”

Do not let the sun go down on your wrath.  I don’t care when the event happened.  You got until sundown to get rid of that anger.  You are not supposed to hang onto that anger for days, weeks, months, or even years.  You don’t have permission to hold the other person hostage even if they are fully in the wrong.  God commands us to forgive the other person.  You don’t want to take the risk of trying to stand in front of God in your prayers and He doesn’t hear you because you still have anger and unforgiveness in your heart.  Oh yeah, and don’t say, “Well what if the other person did something at 10p.m. at night and the sun has already gone down?  Do I have until the next day at sundown to be mad?”  No!  In fact, you have even less amount of time to resolve your anger.  Your goal is to walk in peace, not hang on to your anger because it makes you feel righteous.

Nor give place to the devil.  Did you know that you can control giving place to the devil in your life?  Consider this, the more that you harbor anger, you are giving place to the devil.  When are you going to figure out that the devil can’t make you do anything.  He only tries to deceive and convince YOU to do wrong.  Remember in the Garden of Eden, did Satan take control of Adam and Eve’s bodies and make them sin?  No.  In fact, he couldn’t do anything because Adam and Eve were JUST created by God, hot out of the oven!  Adam and Eve were glowing with God’s Glory.  So, all that Satan could do was “talk” to Eve to coerce her to sin.  Eve gave place to the devil in her mind.  And that was God is telling you.  When you have uncontrolled anger that isn’t resolved, the enemy will whisper thoughts in your mind.  Thoughts of revenge, thoughts to justify your anger and why you should forgive the other person.   Remember that forgiveness is for the person who doesn’t deserve it.

Galatians 5:22,23 (NIV) “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”

Our job is to walk in the spirit and let the attributes of the fruit of the spirit come forth.  Notice that one of the fruits is self-control.  You can be angry, but you can make decisions on that anger through God’s guidance.  That is called Self-control.  Whenever I get angry, I mean really angry, I tell God.  I tell Him that I’m angry and whatever happened isn’t right.  Once I get it all out, then I immediately say, “Lord, I trust you.  I want what you want. I don’t want to explode and do something that is outside of your will.  My flesh wants to take action, but I want to follow you and I want what you want more than what I want.”

You can become victorious over anger.  Recognize the source of the anger, turn the situation over to God, and ask Him for help.

Ron Cobbs Ministries © Copyright January 7, 2024, All Rights Reserved